Trauma from past relationships can do a lot of damage to a person’s emotional, physical, and mental health and well-being. Even after you think you have moved on and are ready for someone new in your life, you might still have some healing to do.
If you were in a relationship where your partner was a) manipulative, b) controlling, c) emotionally, physically, or sexually abusive, or d) would constantly criticize or put you down, you were in an abusive relationship. Abusive relationships are painful and can cause deep distress.
If you have been through that trauma, you could have post-traumatic stress because of the relationship or post-traumatic relationship syndrome. Here is why you should focus on healing from it so you can prevent it from affecting your current or future relationships
Practice Self-Compassion
When you start practicing self-compassion, you will start treating yourself with care, kindness, and you will eventually forgive yourself for all the times you were hard on yourself. Self-compassion involves not being self-critical and forgiving yourself for the times you didn’t know any better.
If you want to practice self-compassion, you can start journaling and giving yourself a small self-pep talk every time you find yourself being hard on yourself.
Feel the Feelings
Sometimes people avoid feeling the strong and complex emotions they feel when they think about past events. It's difficult to relive certain memories, but for you to step forward and process what happened, you need to allow yourself to feel everything.
When you feel all those feelings without fighting them, blicking them out, or trying to fix them immediately, that’s when you’ll start to move on.
Watch How You React
Be aware of your talk to yourself or your partner. If the way you talk to yourself is full of anger, defensiveness, self-pity, or self-victimization, others will start seeing you the same way. The way you talk to yourself will also soon become the way you talk to your partner.
This means you need to be aware of how you’re reacting to certain things, especially during an argument. You need to be tender but strong and clear. Redirect your anger or need to justify something effectively.
Reach Out for Help
It’s important to express yourself and everything you have felt to someone who will not judge you but will listen to you, comfort you and guide you instead. You can find that within your family and friends. You can also find that when you reach out for help from a professional.
At KB Psychotherapy, we provide couples counseling and trauma counseling services across Lake Geneva, WI. You can schedule a session today to get started. We can also guide you and your current partner on how to let go of past trauma and build something beautiful out of what you have.
We also offer a range of other mental health services, including parenting counseling, depression therapy, anxiety counseling, ADHD counseling, phobia treatment, family counseling, and individual counseling.
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